From my Rock 1053 website Blog....
"Daunting is
when Fear aquires a foothold" - Lou II
In a nation
where alcohol is glorified as the giver of good times, but its truth is more
accurately revealed in the murdered relationships and families it has left in
ruins. Where tobacco has created a new caste system in a quote unquote Free
country. Where a plant causes more prison time than domestic abuse. Land of the
Freed minds and Home of the Brave Hearts. Where courage is bullying the bullies.
And parenting is [treating little kids like adults and adults like little
kids] allowing your young toddler children to make adult choices encouraging
them that they are their own people, and allowing your adult children to move
back home encouraging them that when times get tough come move home where your
parents can take care of you. What you tell yourself is what you teach your
kids. Where the government favors banks and wall street over people and
liberties. DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL WE ARE ALL LACKING GUIDANCE??? A MENTOR TO OUR
MORALS. I desperately seek a mentor at times, these times correspond with when I
miss my father the most. EVEN CAPITAL HILL NEEDS GUIDANCE. A MORALITY CHECK.
Where political campaigns are can be depicted as a fued between popular girls in
high school, And of which we would never [or at least hard working parents] want
to subject our children to. Where the power is STILL in the people, but those
people are consumed with the consumption of Apple's next newest edition. When
people weigh self worth in anorexic measurements. Where Faith is placed in the
laps of men and scoffed at when their Faith fails them, only to be reborn as
distrust. Where everybody is mostly yourself. And they are suspect. We lost the
Grindstone. And handed over craftsmanship. Education depreciates as tuition
raises inflate because learning > earning. But you couldnt afford to learn
what that sign means. Our lives are price-tagged by our health and collectively
it's tough to collect. This country's dreams have become asthmatic. We gasp
every time someone somewhere somehow gets offended. Let Go. Malicious intent
must be rooted out but offense taken is giving oneself more importance than
needed. Laughter is a discipline of Love. Lets not use it to hurt. And in that
same breath lets allow ourselves to laugh.
Let's learn to
Let Go. Seek Help. Take Advice. Give Love. Lets start today. It all begins at
home. Build a nation of warriors who seek Love Hope and
Faith
Moments become overwhelmingly sad. But what doesnt completely detroy me
allows me to build myself back up stronger with a deeper knowledge of self
... life in death, the mourning and grieving proccess, our self-worth, lifes
introspectives outrospectives retrospectives, finality, and surreal moment.
Minds eye experiencing existence.
We in our own personal human form, the shells of the bodies our spirits
remain til death, only receive this one life to live. And I mean more depth to
the statement but find troubling the words to express the sentiment.
Surrealism
Gravity enforces laws upon everything but the spirit.
Soar
Enlighten
Seek
Acknowledge
Pray
Examination of self is the Genesis
How
beautiful it is. God's Grace. Take a moment today to reflect and remind yourself
that God has given His Grace to you! Are you accepting of it or ignoring it. God
is knocking on the door or your heart, will you answer
Forgive me
Lord. Continually renew my heart, Faith, & Love Only through You God is
this possible
And
continually forgive me of my pride my sin and myself. Renew me Lord like only
You can. You are miraculous
Vision like children [without our intellect and lifes weathered-ness hinder]
seeing things at face value
"Intellect inhibits listening" - Me.
"Thoughts intervene hearing what others say when provoked" -
Me.
God
Feels like its been a while. Its hard to explain because I ve been speaking
to you. And I know you listen but its been a while since you spoke to me. And I
ve learned that usually when people think they feel God far away its not God but
its themselves who have pulled away. And maybe that is the case but Lord, you
know, You know I ve been asking for your guidance this entire time. I cant go
one day or even one moment without you. And you know I know this. REMOVE ME to
make room for YOU. And I know when we connect things become so clear. I dont
know if like a father accompanying his son through his first steps you are
beginning to let go of my hands and telling me to take these steps on my own.
But I dont believe I can without you. I ve only proven to myself that without
you I fall. And far. And even if I fall with you close by, at least I have peace
and Love.
Please God. Have mercy on my life.
I submit
What do you need me to do God. Show me. Do I need to walk across fire. Do you
need me to leap from a height into the unknown. I humbly ask you God what do you
NEED me to do. What lessons and tests do you need me to learn and take. Do you
need me to continue through the darkness. You, and only YOU, understand the
trials I faced over this decade. And if You need me to face a decade more, for
You I will. And I ask nothing in return. I just need to be close to you God
Please allow closeness
_______________,
I'm sorry. I sometimes let my pain be felt by others. And when I let it hurt
you is when life stops for me. And I am not able to continue on until you know
how sorry I am. I ache for the pain I caused you. I'm human and flawed, and even
more, I'm damaged. And it pains my heart to know I hurt your heart. Please love
me through these times of my weakness. I am a work in progress and I have been
since the day I was born and I will be until the day I die. And I recognize the
error of my ways and I know that is the beginning to becoming better. Know I'm
sorry. And its hard to promise hurt feeling with never happen again but what I
can promise is I will always be accountable for my actions and seek forgiveness
when I am wrong. It's important for me to be able to look you eye to eye and say
these words, and I want to do that. I'm not able to at this time so I write this
from the deepest parts of my soul, because that is where I hurt when I hurt
you.
Humbly I seek forgiveness.
I fear nothing because God told me not to fear.
Love will conquer all.
Show me in ways I understand I am in Your will
But I ask God please allow me the wisdom to know the difference. I will
continually seek you. And seek Your will and my heart follows You. Well, I guess
I dont need to understand. I just need to trust You.
God please
please God
Stepping out into Faith is NOT easy. Its a struggle. Its not easy. But I cant
find faith in humanity or things or myself. I need God. God will make me
balance
I go so far. And Forever seeps in. Eternity muzzles
Facing myself. And all I embody. Wanting to loose myself. Leave my human-ness
behind and walk into the light.
If Faith was easy, everyone would Believe.
I want to kill the humanity [humanness] in me. release myself from my prison
of feelings.
And I apologize to you, whoever is reading this. Because my intention has and
always will be to inspire wh3n you come to this blog. But my mind is poisoned in
this moment. Forgive me as I struggle to move beyond this
Show Love today, have compassion for yourself which will lead you to give
compassion to others.
Love someone out of Love
Sometimes I hate my face. I see all I have been. Instead of seeing all I have
become. It's a mindset. I see that too. My dad always spoke to me about this, he
say it's all about attitude. Still True. Just harder to hear from myself
Lord Forgive me of my sins. And fill me with your Holy Spirit. Allow me to KNOW your Grace. I need you Lord.
Am I in your Will, God?
Why do we fall?
Talk
to God. Speak to God. All Day. Everyday. God listens. I'm a junkie in
withdrawal everyday of my life. learning to live again, removing myself
and living with the Lord God in my heart.
This blog. This is my
public journal. I dont know what will happen to this blog one day long
from now but I need to document my daily thoughts. Hurt is part of life
and we are all humans and we all hurt.
Unknown ~ "Reflection is the inner calm that produces peace"
Self reflection is simply an observation of one's self with minimal judgement.
I
stand in self reflection. Silent staring beyond space. I'm not allowed
to escape my mind so deep thoughts keep me in self reflection. Some
reaffirm and some harbor the ship of sadness. Provoking Forgiveness
Mercy Grace Peace and Love. But afflicting nonetheless. Hope lives there
too. She is the siren out laying on the rocks purging themselves from
the vast ocean of water. Simply put - she's alluring.
