Last night was pretty cool. My brother and I went to the Padres Phillies game. We sat about 12 rows behind the Phillies bullpen and got to see former Red Sox closer, Jonathan Papelbon. Of course, Gabe and I were rockin' our Sox gear and of course, we HECKLED Pap as soon as he walked out to the pen. At one point, he gave us the "thumbs down" as we held our Sox hats up and pointed to my Red Sox on my jersey. It was hilarious and cool. I had a blast and that was one of those moments that Gabe and I will be able to talk about til we get old, saying "remember the time we heckled Pap and he gave us the thumbs down", haha brilliant.

Through this.

Through all of this, I've taken some, left others and hopefully given more.
Lessons Learned.
I've reached beyond my means, isolated within myself, and met mediocrity halfway there.
Learned Lessons.
I shared what I thought I knew, I cared for what I thought was right, and gave what I had to give.
Lessons Learned.
I kept all my guilt, built shoulders strong, longed for peace of mind, finding that you have to move on to forgive.
Learned Lessons.
And the fragility of life is a constant reminder that I keep forgetting to remember. I will be gone, I pray my essence will live on, within the hearts and minds of the ones I loved.
And in fear that nothing good will come of my time here, I move forward each day in progression, living the way I speak of in good care of life's successes - giving, loving, caring, laughing, living.
I will make my heart's love contagious, for all who know me, so when I am gone, this part of me will live on.
Lessons Learned.

LoYaLtY

Loyalty.
Its earned and gained through trials of self discipline.
Sacrifice of self, given a greater good
for humbly noting who you are by what you loyalize.
We've all lost it. But only few have truly lived it.
Love comes second to Loyalty
Not many can choose this path. I know, I have stumbled off the clearly marked trail myself.
But those who abide to return, it's a gift within itself.
Nothing can take, touch, shake, or steal this prowess.
Only yourself can destroy it.
Like a thief in the night, be prepared, because it will test your every stronghold.
Like energy, it will absolutely come back as hard as you deliver it.
So, Give it up for LoYaLtY, the self-sacrifice is well worth it.

There are people

There are people we meet in life, who, for a loss of a better word.... just click.
These people, no matter the distance, the time, or anything that could come inbetween, have this impeccable ability to pick up a conversation with you after 10 years like it was just yesterday.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones.... because I have a few of these people in my life.
These are my boys, that I've known since I was little, who will forever be some of the greatest people I have ever known, and keep friendship with throughout the years.... And some of these relationships I'm talking is going on ovahhh 20 years.
These are my boys. For life. Till the MothaF*ckin Wheels Fall Off.


I love you guys. Know that

Have you evah.....

Felt so uncomfortable in your own skin, that the words "I dont belong here", u felt, spoke directly to your soul.
Given up on sleeping, because insomnia is such a frugal term for the thoughts that keep you alive in the night, and when you do pass out, your dreams are so vivid, they jolt you awake.
Had such angst for thoughts that you feel no one else thinks about..... or at least not thoughts regular people think...... dissecting life and its complexities, wishing, hoping, and even giving in breaking down and praying, for the pressure to alleviate.
Dined on moonlight and cigarettes, feeding the energies that compose the soul instead of evah caring for the simpleness of caring for our bodies.

thought pain meant pleasure.

confused someone you love, for someone you hate.

mixed emotions, to leave yourself at the altar of grief.

Considered giving up it all, to know the feeling of loss. Only to try and win it back.

That G. Love show inspired me

No joke, going to see G. Love live and in person inspired me to the pinnacle peak of inspiration. He was so freakin good live. And it just inspired me. I used to play music, I say used to because I feel like ever since I "grew up" and really took to adult life, I kinda left my musical musings behind.... And that sucks. Because I used to sit out front of my dads house, on the porch with my boy and jamm out until the wee hours of the night..... We boozed hard, and jammed hard.... It was the ish. We would jam during the keg party's I threw, and entertain all our friends.... freestylin' jammin' and not givin' a F*****. It was the best. Hands Down, some of the greatest times of my life..... I'd get home from workin' construction all day, grab a 30 pack, and jamm the F out. And then as I got older, the jam sessions got less, and soon enough when I moved out West they faded completely away..... And it saddened me. And I found that the more time that passed, the harder it was to find my inner confidence to go out and jam again. I was scared. I lost the "Not Give A F****" attitude. I lost the music that lived in me. But G. Love struck a chord in my soul and last night for the first time in years, I broke out the harmonica, told my roommate to get his git-fiddle, and we started jammin' again..... And it felt good..... bettahhhh than good, it felt beautiful. I love music. I am a sensitive doood deep down and music speaks to my soul. I love the feeling you get from hearing a tune that speaks your language. A tune that tells the tale of the rhythm of your life. A feeling you can only get from...... music.

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