Ins0mn1a

I was not going to share this.. But then I realized I dont want to care what people think.. And this is how (I believe) you break yourself of the self-conscienceness.. I will put myself out there.. Vunerable for all to witness
Maybe this speaks to you. I wrote this last night in anotha of my bout of insomnia. My mum has passed away but I still speak to her. She was an avid writer and I believe this is her energy speaking through me.



Pray let his go
Pray let Him know
The pain we all go through
Pray

I feel like I may have an issue with taking on he hurt and sorrowful suffering of others. I can't sleep. My thoughts are wild with care. I lack the ability to down shift the gears of my mind.

Courtship of love is not for the faint o heart. Only determination thrives, like theives in the night. She comes to take ur heart, stolen, along with a certain amount of absolution and good sense. Wild. The heart tastes its reign like a young king on the brink of victory, sieging the castle of mind body and soul, a tyrant ruler. Unlike good conscience, wisdom has no place here, this is a vast desert of butterflies. Which rules the feeling of emotional uncontrol. Desperately seeking sanctuary in reciprocation. The feelings mutual. But unknowing is more like certain death. The king and queen of disillusion. Where the heart reigns. Solitary confinement. to each Otha. Verbal contributions ending in physical connections. Her touch is magnetic. And forevahh imprinting upon ur soul.
Distinct each time, distant each more

Reason

I began re-visiting the question I rarely ask myself - "Why/what is my reason for my relationship with God?" 
Is it to be saved.... to get into heaven... to become a better person than I was yesterday.... to become a man who leads by example.... to be a light in a dark world.... to be/find Hope.... to save myself from myself.... to feel the unprecedented overwhelming comfort of Faith.... to grow intellegently/spiritually/positively... to gain wisdom.... to test myself in the field of trust...... to calm myself.... to help myself.... to help others... to Hope for others..... to know Love, doubt love and reconfirm love..... to overstand all while equally realizing I actually under-stand not at all....
There are so many answers that I explore