Audible Pesticides

You hafta go wicked far out.. to know how close you are. I make mistakes. I communicate harshly on occasion. My passion reveals itself in the things I do. I am human. And when you get close to my heart you feel the passion. Understandable right.. Like any man would defend his homestead. But there are rules, no hitting below the belt. If there is respect, you respect the code. And you know and live by this code. Its the basics that we have all heard and been exposed to growing up. For instance, men dont hit women. My mind is drawing a blank but the golden rule and things of that nature. A code to live be, we all have one. We all tailor it to our comfort. And I being a human man am flawed. I'd like to think I am learning with each experience. And I look to forgive. There are just few things that are tough for me to see beyond. And I still look to forgive. I just understand that part of learning is learning to not allow yourself back in the environment with the perpetraitors. And it is healthier to find your seperate life paths. It is OKAY to walk a seperate path from those who you forgiven, especially when they have deeply hurt you. And it is for your health. We all need to give ourself time to heal. And time to understand what healthy living it. Like we will eat organically but continually listen to threatening verbal abuse. It makes no sense. You keep yourself from eating pesticides but you will listen to them, pesticides for your ears. It takes work. Just like getting healthy, eating healthy takes a conscious effort to do. You become aware of all the things that your put in your body. And you equip yourself with knowledge to know the difference between organic and not, you learn and teach yourself what is acceptable and good for you. We take these techniques and apply them to new aspects of our lives. Its work. It is difficult work. Not everyone is capable or able to do this. I know of 40-something year old men who refuse to admit their faults and see a opening for change. It is a sad way to live. You will constantly find yourself in the same situations with different people.
Keep aware of your surroundings. Forgive and learn to live again. Freedom.



Where did life go. What am I making of my life.
Keep moving forward.
And if you hafta look back, do it to remind yourself where you came from and where you are now.

Wicked.

A descriptive intensifier for adjectives and other descriptive words.

I am wicked tired of being put in role I am placed in when it comes to my family, my brothers and me. I am the oldest. But since our parents died, I dont feel like either of them once has given a rip about how I am holding up. I thought and wanted us to bond together in the wake of loosing our parents. it feels like the opposite happened. And I know I am accountable for the role I played but when will I be forgiven. I begin to forgive myself. And understand how difficult it is when others wont forgive you.