I have Faith in God.
outloud - I have Faith in God
I have Faith in God
words - think - feel - decision - actions - character
I have Faith in God
dis ease causes disease
I have Faith in God
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I will f**kin strangle you is all I hear in my mind. Strangle you till you bleed from your eyes and all you see is the blood of death. Til your lights snuffed out and the black darkness envelopes you. But you, you wait for death patiently, don't you? So that path is light for you. Too easy. The easiest way out for you. The cheapest answer to your pain. So I'll envelope you with darkness in life. You will only walk with only candle light at your feet, willing to still move? Are you. ANSWER ME. NOW. Where will you go? I will make each step you take a step into the darkness, you will only move by what you perceive as Faith. And that is the only way you will be able to keep going. Like the hollows of earth you will feel like you are in the belly of a cave. Swallowed whole. Your path will be littered and shattered. Not like the roads you take by day but like the cold dark thick of the forest at night.
My stomach drops like gravity worked differently. And I feel so empty its echoes.
silence so quiet i pray
in these times please someone help me. but that someone doesnt exist. And I'm taught again.
stop looking for someone. Someone cant help you. Your broken beyond repair. And noone can love you.
why have you abandoned me here.
But I am not alone.
You are sick. Dying on the outside and inside. fragile shell you are. And you feed that body? Are you feeding your soul. Your spirit is awakening. And seeking healing. The darkness will not hide the truth but you must seek. Just because your body dies doesn't give you the right to kill your spirit. Nourish. Seek. Bleed. Tears.
You will only find what you seek. You will not stumble on this.
Seek
My stomach drops like gravity worked differently. And I feel so empty its echoes.
silence so quiet i pray
in these times please someone help me. but that someone doesnt exist. And I'm taught again.
stop looking for someone. Someone cant help you. Your broken beyond repair. And noone can love you.
why have you abandoned me here.
But I am not alone.
You are sick. Dying on the outside and inside. fragile shell you are. And you feed that body? Are you feeding your soul. Your spirit is awakening. And seeking healing. The darkness will not hide the truth but you must seek. Just because your body dies doesn't give you the right to kill your spirit. Nourish. Seek. Bleed. Tears.
You will only find what you seek. You will not stumble on this.
Seek
Friday, December 14, 2012
Pray3R is vital. For me. My breed. Vitality comes from and through Pray3R.
Prayer Warrior
In Training. To be focused on God every moment of my day. Praying all day
I want to be. A Prayer Warrior
I give God my first thoughts, my last thoughts and all there in between.
We are a different breed. A breed whose vitality comes only through the Lord our God
We know God
The power is UNdeniable. The way the Lord changed my heart, my thoughts, my life.
Prayer Warrior
In Training. To be focused on God every moment of my day. Praying all day
I want to be. A Prayer Warrior
I give God my first thoughts, my last thoughts and all there in between.
We are a different breed. A breed whose vitality comes only through the Lord our God
We know God
The power is UNdeniable. The way the Lord changed my heart, my thoughts, my life.
Th3 Struggl3
Please Lord God help me when I struggl3 in my Faith. When I
stumble and fall. When I am weakest you then can make me my strongest. Please
Lord God never give up on me. And stay closest to me when I am me and distanced
from You God. Please Lord. I need You. I barely breathe without. And let me
have the power to understand I am Loved by You and worthy of your Grace.
Amen.
3 is a Magikal numbah. Its Truth. And amazing. I love the numbah 3
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
writings to writings
From my Rock 1053 website Blog....
"Daunting is when Fear aquires a foothold" - Lou II
In a nation where alcohol is glorified as the giver of good times, but its truth is more accurately revealed in the murdered relationships and families it has left in ruins. Where tobacco has created a new caste system in a quote unquote Free country. Where a plant causes more prison time than domestic abuse. Land of the Freed minds and Home of the Brave Hearts. Where courage is bullying the bullies. And parenting is [treating little kids like adults and adults like little kids] allowing your young toddler children to make adult choices encouraging them that they are their own people, and allowing your adult children to move back home encouraging them that when times get tough come move home where your parents can take care of you. What you tell yourself is what you teach your kids. Where the government favors banks and wall street over people and liberties. DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL WE ARE ALL LACKING GUIDANCE??? A MENTOR TO OUR MORALS. I desperately seek a mentor at times, these times correspond with when I miss my father the most. EVEN CAPITAL HILL NEEDS GUIDANCE. A MORALITY CHECK. Where political campaigns are can be depicted as a fued between popular girls in high school, And of which we would never [or at least hard working parents] want to subject our children to. Where the power is STILL in the people, but those people are consumed with the consumption of Apple's next newest edition. When people weigh self worth in anorexic measurements. Where Faith is placed in the laps of men and scoffed at when their Faith fails them, only to be reborn as distrust. Where everybody is mostly yourself. And they are suspect. We lost the Grindstone. And handed over craftsmanship. Education depreciates as tuition raises inflate because learning > earning. But you couldnt afford to learn what that sign means. Our lives are price-tagged by our health and collectively it's tough to collect. This country's dreams have become asthmatic. We gasp every time someone somewhere somehow gets offended. Let Go. Malicious intent must be rooted out but offense taken is giving oneself more importance than needed. Laughter is a discipline of Love. Lets not use it to hurt. And in that same breath lets allow ourselves to laugh.
Let's learn to Let Go. Seek Help. Take Advice. Give Love. Lets start today. It all begins at home. Build a nation of warriors who seek Love Hope and Faith
Moments become overwhelmingly sad. But what doesnt completely detroy me allows me to build myself back up stronger with a deeper knowledge of self
... life in death, the mourning and grieving proccess, our self-worth, lifes introspectives outrospectives retrospectives, finality, and surreal moment.
Minds eye experiencing existence.
We in our own personal human form, the shells of the bodies our spirits remain til death, only receive this one life to live. And I mean more depth to the statement but find troubling the words to express the sentiment. Surrealism
Gravity enforces laws upon everything but the spirit.
Soar
Enlighten
Seek
Acknowledge
Pray
Examination of self is the Genesis
How beautiful it is. God's Grace. Take a moment today to reflect and remind yourself that God has given His Grace to you! Are you accepting of it or ignoring it. God is knocking on the door or your heart, will you answer
Forgive me Lord. Continually renew my heart, Faith, & Love Only through You God is this possible
And continually forgive me of my pride my sin and myself. Renew me Lord like only You can. You are miraculous
Vision like children [without our intellect and lifes weathered-ness hinder] seeing things at face value
"Intellect inhibits listening" - Me.
"Thoughts intervene hearing what others say when provoked" - Me.
God
Feels like its been a while. Its hard to explain because I ve been speaking to you. And I know you listen but its been a while since you spoke to me. And I ve learned that usually when people think they feel God far away its not God but its themselves who have pulled away. And maybe that is the case but Lord, you know, You know I ve been asking for your guidance this entire time. I cant go one day or even one moment without you. And you know I know this. REMOVE ME to make room for YOU. And I know when we connect things become so clear. I dont know if like a father accompanying his son through his first steps you are beginning to let go of my hands and telling me to take these steps on my own. But I dont believe I can without you. I ve only proven to myself that without you I fall. And far. And even if I fall with you close by, at least I have peace and Love.
Please God. Have mercy on my life.
I submit
What do you need me to do God. Show me. Do I need to walk across fire. Do you need me to leap from a height into the unknown. I humbly ask you God what do you NEED me to do. What lessons and tests do you need me to learn and take. Do you need me to continue through the darkness. You, and only YOU, understand the trials I faced over this decade. And if You need me to face a decade more, for You I will. And I ask nothing in return. I just need to be close to you God
Please allow closeness
_______________,
I'm sorry. I sometimes let my pain be felt by others. And when I let it hurt you is when life stops for me. And I am not able to continue on until you know how sorry I am. I ache for the pain I caused you. I'm human and flawed, and even more, I'm damaged. And it pains my heart to know I hurt your heart. Please love me through these times of my weakness. I am a work in progress and I have been since the day I was born and I will be until the day I die. And I recognize the error of my ways and I know that is the beginning to becoming better. Know I'm sorry. And its hard to promise hurt feeling with never happen again but what I can promise is I will always be accountable for my actions and seek forgiveness when I am wrong. It's important for me to be able to look you eye to eye and say these words, and I want to do that. I'm not able to at this time so I write this from the deepest parts of my soul, because that is where I hurt when I hurt you.
Humbly I seek forgiveness.
I fear nothing because God told me not to fear.
Love will conquer all.
Show me in ways I understand I am in Your will
But I ask God please allow me the wisdom to know the difference. I will continually seek you. And seek Your will and my heart follows You. Well, I guess I dont need to understand. I just need to trust You.
God please
please God
Stepping out into Faith is NOT easy. Its a struggle. Its not easy. But I cant find faith in humanity or things or myself. I need God. God will make me balance
I go so far. And Forever seeps in. Eternity muzzles
Facing myself. And all I embody. Wanting to loose myself. Leave my human-ness behind and walk into the light.
If Faith was easy, everyone would Believe.
I want to kill the humanity [humanness] in me. release myself from my prison of feelings.
And I apologize to you, whoever is reading this. Because my intention has and always will be to inspire wh3n you come to this blog. But my mind is poisoned in this moment. Forgive me as I struggle to move beyond this
Show Love today, have compassion for yourself which will lead you to give compassion to others.
Love someone out of Love
Sometimes I hate my face. I see all I have been. Instead of seeing all I have become. It's a mindset. I see that too. My dad always spoke to me about this, he say it's all about attitude. Still True. Just harder to hear from myself
Lord Forgive me of my sins. And fill me with your Holy Spirit. Allow me to KNOW your Grace. I need you Lord.
Am I in your Will, God?
Why do we fall?
Talk to God. Speak to God. All Day. Everyday. God listens. I'm a junkie in withdrawal everyday of my life. learning to live again, removing myself and living with the Lord God in my heart.
This blog. This is my public journal. I dont know what will happen to this blog one day long from now but I need to document my daily thoughts. Hurt is part of life and we are all humans and we all hurt.
Unknown ~ "Reflection is the inner calm that produces peace"
Self reflection is simply an observation of one's self with minimal judgement.
I stand in self reflection. Silent staring beyond space. I'm not allowed to escape my mind so deep thoughts keep me in self reflection. Some reaffirm and some harbor the ship of sadness. Provoking Forgiveness Mercy Grace Peace and Love. But afflicting nonetheless. Hope lives there too. She is the siren out laying on the rocks purging themselves from the vast ocean of water. Simply put - she's alluring.
"Daunting is when Fear aquires a foothold" - Lou II
In a nation where alcohol is glorified as the giver of good times, but its truth is more accurately revealed in the murdered relationships and families it has left in ruins. Where tobacco has created a new caste system in a quote unquote Free country. Where a plant causes more prison time than domestic abuse. Land of the Freed minds and Home of the Brave Hearts. Where courage is bullying the bullies. And parenting is [treating little kids like adults and adults like little kids] allowing your young toddler children to make adult choices encouraging them that they are their own people, and allowing your adult children to move back home encouraging them that when times get tough come move home where your parents can take care of you. What you tell yourself is what you teach your kids. Where the government favors banks and wall street over people and liberties. DOES ANYBODY ELSE FEEL WE ARE ALL LACKING GUIDANCE??? A MENTOR TO OUR MORALS. I desperately seek a mentor at times, these times correspond with when I miss my father the most. EVEN CAPITAL HILL NEEDS GUIDANCE. A MORALITY CHECK. Where political campaigns are can be depicted as a fued between popular girls in high school, And of which we would never [or at least hard working parents] want to subject our children to. Where the power is STILL in the people, but those people are consumed with the consumption of Apple's next newest edition. When people weigh self worth in anorexic measurements. Where Faith is placed in the laps of men and scoffed at when their Faith fails them, only to be reborn as distrust. Where everybody is mostly yourself. And they are suspect. We lost the Grindstone. And handed over craftsmanship. Education depreciates as tuition raises inflate because learning > earning. But you couldnt afford to learn what that sign means. Our lives are price-tagged by our health and collectively it's tough to collect. This country's dreams have become asthmatic. We gasp every time someone somewhere somehow gets offended. Let Go. Malicious intent must be rooted out but offense taken is giving oneself more importance than needed. Laughter is a discipline of Love. Lets not use it to hurt. And in that same breath lets allow ourselves to laugh.
Let's learn to Let Go. Seek Help. Take Advice. Give Love. Lets start today. It all begins at home. Build a nation of warriors who seek Love Hope and Faith
Moments become overwhelmingly sad. But what doesnt completely detroy me allows me to build myself back up stronger with a deeper knowledge of self
... life in death, the mourning and grieving proccess, our self-worth, lifes introspectives outrospectives retrospectives, finality, and surreal moment.
Minds eye experiencing existence.
We in our own personal human form, the shells of the bodies our spirits remain til death, only receive this one life to live. And I mean more depth to the statement but find troubling the words to express the sentiment. Surrealism
Gravity enforces laws upon everything but the spirit.
Soar
Enlighten
Seek
Acknowledge
Pray
Examination of self is the Genesis
How beautiful it is. God's Grace. Take a moment today to reflect and remind yourself that God has given His Grace to you! Are you accepting of it or ignoring it. God is knocking on the door or your heart, will you answer
Forgive me Lord. Continually renew my heart, Faith, & Love Only through You God is this possible
And continually forgive me of my pride my sin and myself. Renew me Lord like only You can. You are miraculous
Vision like children [without our intellect and lifes weathered-ness hinder] seeing things at face value
"Intellect inhibits listening" - Me.
"Thoughts intervene hearing what others say when provoked" - Me.
God
Feels like its been a while. Its hard to explain because I ve been speaking to you. And I know you listen but its been a while since you spoke to me. And I ve learned that usually when people think they feel God far away its not God but its themselves who have pulled away. And maybe that is the case but Lord, you know, You know I ve been asking for your guidance this entire time. I cant go one day or even one moment without you. And you know I know this. REMOVE ME to make room for YOU. And I know when we connect things become so clear. I dont know if like a father accompanying his son through his first steps you are beginning to let go of my hands and telling me to take these steps on my own. But I dont believe I can without you. I ve only proven to myself that without you I fall. And far. And even if I fall with you close by, at least I have peace and Love.
Please God. Have mercy on my life.
I submit
What do you need me to do God. Show me. Do I need to walk across fire. Do you need me to leap from a height into the unknown. I humbly ask you God what do you NEED me to do. What lessons and tests do you need me to learn and take. Do you need me to continue through the darkness. You, and only YOU, understand the trials I faced over this decade. And if You need me to face a decade more, for You I will. And I ask nothing in return. I just need to be close to you God
Please allow closeness
_______________,
I'm sorry. I sometimes let my pain be felt by others. And when I let it hurt you is when life stops for me. And I am not able to continue on until you know how sorry I am. I ache for the pain I caused you. I'm human and flawed, and even more, I'm damaged. And it pains my heart to know I hurt your heart. Please love me through these times of my weakness. I am a work in progress and I have been since the day I was born and I will be until the day I die. And I recognize the error of my ways and I know that is the beginning to becoming better. Know I'm sorry. And its hard to promise hurt feeling with never happen again but what I can promise is I will always be accountable for my actions and seek forgiveness when I am wrong. It's important for me to be able to look you eye to eye and say these words, and I want to do that. I'm not able to at this time so I write this from the deepest parts of my soul, because that is where I hurt when I hurt you.
Humbly I seek forgiveness.
I fear nothing because God told me not to fear.
Love will conquer all.
Show me in ways I understand I am in Your will
But I ask God please allow me the wisdom to know the difference. I will continually seek you. And seek Your will and my heart follows You. Well, I guess I dont need to understand. I just need to trust You.
God please
please God
Stepping out into Faith is NOT easy. Its a struggle. Its not easy. But I cant find faith in humanity or things or myself. I need God. God will make me balance
I go so far. And Forever seeps in. Eternity muzzles
Facing myself. And all I embody. Wanting to loose myself. Leave my human-ness behind and walk into the light.
If Faith was easy, everyone would Believe.
I want to kill the humanity [humanness] in me. release myself from my prison of feelings.
And I apologize to you, whoever is reading this. Because my intention has and always will be to inspire wh3n you come to this blog. But my mind is poisoned in this moment. Forgive me as I struggle to move beyond this
Show Love today, have compassion for yourself which will lead you to give compassion to others.
Love someone out of Love
Sometimes I hate my face. I see all I have been. Instead of seeing all I have become. It's a mindset. I see that too. My dad always spoke to me about this, he say it's all about attitude. Still True. Just harder to hear from myself
Lord Forgive me of my sins. And fill me with your Holy Spirit. Allow me to KNOW your Grace. I need you Lord.
Am I in your Will, God?
Why do we fall?
Talk to God. Speak to God. All Day. Everyday. God listens. I'm a junkie in withdrawal everyday of my life. learning to live again, removing myself and living with the Lord God in my heart.
This blog. This is my public journal. I dont know what will happen to this blog one day long from now but I need to document my daily thoughts. Hurt is part of life and we are all humans and we all hurt.
Unknown ~ "Reflection is the inner calm that produces peace"
Self reflection is simply an observation of one's self with minimal judgement.
I stand in self reflection. Silent staring beyond space. I'm not allowed to escape my mind so deep thoughts keep me in self reflection. Some reaffirm and some harbor the ship of sadness. Provoking Forgiveness Mercy Grace Peace and Love. But afflicting nonetheless. Hope lives there too. She is the siren out laying on the rocks purging themselves from the vast ocean of water. Simply put - she's alluring.
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