There are people

There are people we meet in life, who, for a loss of a better word.... just click.
These people, no matter the distance, the time, or anything that could come inbetween, have this impeccable ability to pick up a conversation with you after 10 years like it was just yesterday.
I consider myself one of the lucky ones.... because I have a few of these people in my life.
These are my boys, that I've known since I was little, who will forever be some of the greatest people I have ever known, and keep friendship with throughout the years.... And some of these relationships I'm talking is going on ovahhh 20 years.
These are my boys. For life. Till the MothaF*ckin Wheels Fall Off.


I love you guys. Know that

Have you evah.....

Felt so uncomfortable in your own skin, that the words "I dont belong here", u felt, spoke directly to your soul.
Given up on sleeping, because insomnia is such a frugal term for the thoughts that keep you alive in the night, and when you do pass out, your dreams are so vivid, they jolt you awake.
Had such angst for thoughts that you feel no one else thinks about..... or at least not thoughts regular people think...... dissecting life and its complexities, wishing, hoping, and even giving in breaking down and praying, for the pressure to alleviate.
Dined on moonlight and cigarettes, feeding the energies that compose the soul instead of evah caring for the simpleness of caring for our bodies.

thought pain meant pleasure.

confused someone you love, for someone you hate.

mixed emotions, to leave yourself at the altar of grief.

Considered giving up it all, to know the feeling of loss. Only to try and win it back.

That G. Love show inspired me

No joke, going to see G. Love live and in person inspired me to the pinnacle peak of inspiration. He was so freakin good live. And it just inspired me. I used to play music, I say used to because I feel like ever since I "grew up" and really took to adult life, I kinda left my musical musings behind.... And that sucks. Because I used to sit out front of my dads house, on the porch with my boy and jamm out until the wee hours of the night..... We boozed hard, and jammed hard.... It was the ish. We would jam during the keg party's I threw, and entertain all our friends.... freestylin' jammin' and not givin' a F*****. It was the best. Hands Down, some of the greatest times of my life..... I'd get home from workin' construction all day, grab a 30 pack, and jamm the F out. And then as I got older, the jam sessions got less, and soon enough when I moved out West they faded completely away..... And it saddened me. And I found that the more time that passed, the harder it was to find my inner confidence to go out and jam again. I was scared. I lost the "Not Give A F****" attitude. I lost the music that lived in me. But G. Love struck a chord in my soul and last night for the first time in years, I broke out the harmonica, told my roommate to get his git-fiddle, and we started jammin' again..... And it felt good..... bettahhhh than good, it felt beautiful. I love music. I am a sensitive doood deep down and music speaks to my soul. I love the feeling you get from hearing a tune that speaks your language. A tune that tells the tale of the rhythm of your life. A feeling you can only get from...... music.

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Drugs Make Me Sentimental

Seriously, they do, that is why I can' do them.

Ha ha....

Like, who the heck gets all sentimental while being junked out.

This guy

Pod Casting

Its the new thing.... Everyone and their mutha is doing it..... And I really greatly appreciate the way comedian Bill Burr does it. It comes correct.... funny, informative, offensive, yet wicked appealing. I was listening to his Monday morning Pod Cast on my run today and was wicked inspired to try and set up and create my own pod cast. Now, there is some work involved in this so I ain't getting all jittery as sh*t to get started. But with the correct YouTube videos, I am sure I can figure out how to do it.... and do it correct. I would just have to do it when I feel wicked passionate about something..... not just to talk..... I know people who do that, and it can be/it is wicked boring. I actually don't really enjoy the sound of my own voice, so you know if I am doing something like this on my own... well, the guy gotta be moved by the spirit being compelled to speak my piece.

Not the norm....

Dont get me wrong, I love football. But there is something about the one game playoff that gets me, if you have a bad day, game, or anything bad that specific day - you're done.
That is where I can really truly appreciate every other sports playoff system of the best of 3, 5, and 7 series. To me that seems to really show the better team. You have to win out a series, not one game. Where I look at the one game and say "Yes, it can decide the better team" BUT it also can display a great team having an off day. Where as when you play a series, that off day can be off-set by coming back out the next night and proving yourself. Now maybe you read this and say, guy you're just bitter that the Pats lost in the Super Bowl, cut the sh*t. In which I reply, Yes, heck yes I am wicked bitter. But I also appreciate a good series more than a do or die playoff game.

Anybody else.....

Hear the Elton John song "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" and think up sad montages about the Pats game in your mind....... No, no one else does..... Yeah then me neither

1 score and Four years ago......

I feel like this is deja-vu...... To feel so low and also feel so angry (that those bastard Giants fans can say that they beat us TWICE, not just once but TWICE now in the Super Bowl) is wicked heartbreaking.

Let me be WICKED CLEAR though - I ain't a fair weather fan, and although this loss SUCKS, I love my Patriots.... And even though we lost (as a team) I still wore my Pats t-shirt on Monday morning, as one last tribute to a great year, which was spoiled at the very end of the line. Man, this one hurts. Hurts wicked bad.......
I am embarrassed to admit this but it's been two days now - in a row - that I have woken up to nightmares about that game and all the missed opportunities..... my first thoughts were "is Tom Brady alright?!?!?!", wicked weird, but not for a die hard.
I am embarrassed to admit this too..... When I got in my truck this mornin' some song that Fergie sings happened to be one, the song where she sings "Big Girls Don't Cry" (I dont know if thats the name of it but I hate Fergie and dont give a rip about her music...... until this morning) and I felt like singing/sobbing along to it, but re-wording all the lyrics to be about the Super Bowl - all while banging my head on the steering wheel horn..... Sad, I know.
Irregahhhhdless..... this too shall pass. Like all devastating losses, time and the Sox, Celts, Bruins will help hear this mortal wound.... like the heart of a New Englander, I am frigid to everyone except other New Englanders right now. I come off even more pissed off and hot headed than my usual self. And must look like a jerk but ya know what........ I dont give a rip. Normal people who root for their teams only when they are doing well, will NEVAHHH understand the heart of a die hard, never. Sports to us is more than a game, it's our life, its our family, its how we communicate and how we bond, its what we live for..... hey, if there were no die hards there would be no "Greats" to watch. And yes, that is a bold statement but in some weird ironic sense, that makes sense to me..... Us, die hahhhhds, make the sports world go round. And some where I read, that life wouldn't be fun if we didnt take it this personal.... And I agree. I wouldnt enjoy the wins as much, if I didnt suffer through the tragedy of the losses.

Hi, I'm Rob and I'm a Boston-aholic.

From my Rock 1053 Bloggings.......

2 Days afta the Super Bowl......

Hey, Charger fans, I get it, your team has not been to the Superbowl in a while but please stop telling me to not feel wicked emotionally unstable. I am wicked thankful that my team has won Three Championships but that does not take away the pain from loosing this one. And I have compassion for you fans, I do........ But I also live and die with my team, so this one, I am feeling like I died inside.....  And I will say this, a lot of you have been supportive and cool, but the ones who keep telling me not to feel bad because "at least you're not a Chargers fan", well, piss off..... I am a Pats fan and my heart is broken right now, let me feel like a wicked emotional wreck.... If you dont want to hear me being broken hearted, then dont read my stuff. I invest so much into my teams AND I KNOW ITS NOT HEALTHY, BUT sometimes I feel like they are part of my family and I live for them. I don't want you to think I am pissed at any of you, I am jsut wicked passionate and am hurting wicked bad right now.... I just dont like being told that it aint that bad, when in reality IT IS. We got beat by the MOTHAF*CKIN GIANTS AGAIN!!!!! I AM HEART BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO LAY OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I had to get that off my chest, that just because my city has won championships, that doesn't mean I am not an emotional disasterpiece right now.....

What I have been doing, is trying to find some kind of solace to help cheer myself up..... What I found myself actually feeling a little better about is when I listened to Party Rock by LMFAO this morning and imagined myself, God and Jesus all doing the Party Rock dance together, that actually made me crack a smile. So any New Englanders out there, try that to help get over this hump of a emotional disaster.

I know I invest too much into my teams sometimes, I know I do, and I know a lot of other New Englanders do too.... We have this unhealthy obsession. It feels like life is alright and live-able when our teams are doing well but when they loose, what is the point of doing anything..... I mean, I have had trouble getting out of bed the past two mornings because when I wake up all I think is "Pats lost, Pats lost" and keep telling myself that it wasn't a bad dream. I know to normal people that seems crazy but it's my reality.

Like I imagine Tom Brady waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare about Justin Tuck sacking him in the Third Quarter and Gisele comforting him back to sleep, and across the country in my bedroom I am waking up from a nightmare of me being witness to that sack and replaying it again and again in my dreams because I am so obsessed with it and how I feel like Tom Brady was not the same after that hit in the game and how that changed the outcome. Weird, I know, but this is the unhealthy obsession. Wicked pathetic

I would be drowning my sorrows in Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee BUT I CAN'T EVEN DO THAT BECAUSE THERE ARE NO DUNKS IN CALIFORNIA! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

And I want to give a shout out to the guy over at Barstoolsports.com who writes for the Boston part of that site. He does a great job expressing the emotional attachment and wreckage we go through as Die Hahhhd fans. If you're from Boston and never read that website, what is wrong with you! Go check it out, click on Boston when ya get there though, so you read our cities bloggings and postings. Wicked good stuff. And helpful through these tough times.

I know, you're probably saying enough already with your sobbing and crying.... But it feels like a bad break up, a break up that you really didnt want to have happen but you could almost see it coming.... And then you tell yourself that you can not call your ex, that you shouldnt even be thinking about her, but in all truth and reality, it consumes your mind.... Like as much as I tell myself "Lets go watch the Bruins", all I am thinking about it Brady trying to march down the field with less than a minute left and how I could feel my hopes being crushed deep in my man heart. And I know I am not a normal person when it comes to things likes sports.... when you are willing to name pets after players, decorate your house like it was a shrine to Fenway Park, Gillete Stadium, and the Garden (And doing this as a grown up adult man), and sacrifice relationships because the game was on - you're not normal, you're a Die Hard.

Ahhhhhhh man, this week sucks. I need to start a group like AA but for New England Sports fans, the fanatics. We need a meeting group where we can talk it out. Especially, the days following a big sports event like Sunday. Now more than ever, us fanatics need each other to not feel so crazy because honestly I thought I was being nuts until I read other guys blogs about how passionately they felt and how devestated they are in the days following. The group would have to have a cool name though, like Massholes Anonymous or something like that.... any ideas, hit me up.

I also really could of used this group after the Sox collapse last season, that was a difficult thing to live through and denial was part of my life for a while. Damn..... its been a rough few playoffs, the Bruins were great though, I am wearing my Bruins shirt today to try and cheer up.... I just love my Pats so much

I can hear the intervention music bed playing right now in the background, imagining my friends about to trick me into meeting them in some random hotel conference room to hold an intervention with me about how passionate about my teams I am. *Cue the music

Hi, my name is Rob and I'm a Boston-aholic.

Day afta the Super Bowl.....

The good Lord knows how bad my heart hurts right now. A crushing defeat at the hands of my arch-nemisis, makes you do some soul searching. My allegience to my Patriots will never faulter, but I will say this - that it makes you deal with loss, find ways to cope, and teach yourself how to deal with your emotions (because you get a sh** ton of them after such a defeat). I have a million emotions right now, disappointment has to be number one. Sad is up there too, but it all comes out as being pissed off. And will come out on any Giants fan I see. But thats the beauty of being a Masshole, we surpress our feelings and stuff them deep down inside to never be dealt with again.

So I'll say it, say the stuff that I think a lot of us New Englanders are thinking...... WHAT THE F***, now we gotta hear those pecker NYG fans talk about how great Eli Manning is for the next year and how this is another reason that (they think) Ny owns Boston is the sports world..... But let me remind you New Yorkers, Tom Brady still has one more ring than that idiot Manning. Also, I have nto seen the Rangers, Islanders, Knicks or Nets do anything of substance in the past 5 years. So piss off. 
Yeah, did you get us again, yes. Did you rip out our hearts and stomp on them like you did back in 2007 when the Giants destroyed our march to perfection, yes. But I am still proud to be a Patriots fan, a sad and heartbroken Patriots fan.

So now what do I do, drown myself in sorrow for a few days - YES. But then I guess we pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts and start watching the Celtics and Bruins again, cause I must admit, I've been knee deep in Pats coverage and unnecessary super bowl coverage for the past two weeks. I have watched a couple Celtics games but to be honest I was thinking about the Pats the whole time, that's weird..... Okay, so us New Englanders have somewhat of an unhealthy obsession with our sports teams, so much so that it can be affair-esque when you're in a relationship. But enough about that. We are talking about picking ourselves up after getting kicked in the d*ck repeatedly in what they call the Super Bowl.

I am WICKED FRIGGIN' UPSET. And this morning I was thinking, well if I feel this shotty I wonder how the players feel, but I can't feel bad for Tom Terrific because at least he gets to go home and motorboat that supahhh model Giselle to cheer himself up. I get to come home to two dogs and a couple of roommates who are also feeling just as miserable as I am. WTF.

It's still replaying in my head, driving me nuts.... I know nerves came in to play because the last time I seen that many dropped balls in the 4th quarter, it was while me and my roommates were playing touch football in the street.... I MEAN COME ON!

I feel like someone drove by me while I was walking on the side of the road and they drove through a big muddy puddle and soaked me. And now I am just standing here drenched in mud looking stupid. I feel like crap.

Yeah it hurts to loose the super bowl, brings me right back to 2007, but it also makes it 100 times worse that it was AGAIN to the Giants. Eitherway, there is no getting around this feeling of being kicked in the d*ck. C punch. Nut shot. It's pure devastation.

I love my Patriots so much, so much it hurts, hurts bad too. It's weird how affected I am. But I look at some of the team members as members of my own family, I feel like I have been there through the good times and the bad for them, rooting through it all..... and when something like this happens, I feel it as a fan as I suffered the loss with them. Now I get that some people who arent diehards witht heir sports teams dont get that, and if thats you, I can never explain this feeling to you. But for those of you who bleed your teams colors, you get me. This will take a few days to shake off.

I will say this, I am really happy that Thor got to watch the game with his dad. But that's it. I know what a special occassion this is so for Thor to be able to be at home and spend this time with his family is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I missed out on being able to do this because I was trying to make it in my career and jsut did not have the money to travel across the country.... but these memories will be lifelong ones and that is a moment that sometimes only happens once in a lifetime.

12 Days, 18 Hours, and a few minutes from right now until Pitchers and Catchers report to Spring Training..... GO SOX

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