I was not going to share this.. But then I realized I dont want to care what people think.. And this is how (I believe) you break yourself of the self-conscienceness.. I will put myself out there.. Vunerable for all to witness
Maybe this speaks to you. I wrote this last night in anotha of my bout of insomnia. My mum has passed away but I still speak to her. She was an avid writer and I believe this is her energy speaking through me.
Pray let his go
Pray let Him know
The pain we all go through
Pray
I feel like I may have an issue with taking on he hurt and sorrowful suffering of others. I can't sleep. My thoughts are wild with care. I lack the ability to down shift the gears of my mind.
Courtship of love is not for the faint o heart. Only determination thrives, like theives in the night. She comes to take ur heart, stolen, along with a certain amount of absolution and good sense. Wild. The heart tastes its reign like a young king on the brink of victory, sieging the castle of mind body and soul, a tyrant ruler. Unlike good conscience, wisdom has no place here, this is a vast desert of butterflies. Which rules the feeling of emotional uncontrol. Desperately seeking sanctuary in reciprocation. The feelings mutual. But unknowing is more like certain death. The king and queen of disillusion. Where the heart reigns. Solitary confinement. to each Otha. Verbal contributions ending in physical connections. Her touch is magnetic. And forevahh imprinting upon ur soul.
Distinct each time, distant each more
There are two ways for a person to not care about what others think. One is to have lost everything and have nothing left to care about. The second is to come to peace with who you are and see the insignificance in waiting for other's approval.
ReplyDeleteYou have lost too much, but you still have many people in the world who care about you and want to see you find that peace.
Looking forward to cheering you on! Hope you get some sleep one of these nights.
I had a really long post before but it was erased! Big Bummer. So here in the gist of what I said...
ReplyDeleteHoly Crap you are an incredible writer! I am amazed of your writing abilities. You are SO intelligent and I cannot understand why you put yourself down negatively in any part of your life. From my perspective, (for what it's worth) is that you have a really good head on your shoulders. I never will claim to know you, but from what I READ, I understand that you have had it rough. And nobody can truly get what you are going through. However, Your words are very unrelenting to your true feelings, and I am astounded by the passion you have for anything that you do with your life, i.e. Your Garden, Your Love and Devotion to God, Your Love and Responsibility to your Family, and the Love of your city, Boston. It's intriguing to me, a fellow writer.
I think the relationship that you have with God is great. I for one do not follow any set Religion. Although, I feel as long as you have a good head on your shoulders and that you do well unto others it should not matter what you follow. In some people's life GOD is a beginning, the foundation that will help build that person's relationships; be it, with themselves, family, love, etc.
But...hey that's just my rant. Continue doing what you are doing B-Robbie, because it is awesome. And although Tough circumstances occur throughout your life, you will kick ass and keep going. And obviously keep writing! ;)