I am crushed inside. I don't know where I went wrong but the more I think about it, the more I think "What if I did this.... What if I had took a different approach.... What if I gave more of myself.... What if...."
The "What If's" in life will eat your alive.
I know better than to focus on them. But in this moment, at this crossroads I am here facing again, I can't help but look back and wondering. Am I a bad guy? Maybe if I wasn't "me" then things would be different. Maybe it wouldn't feel like my life is shattered in a million pieces on the ground. Maybe my family wouldn't be broken.
I know, I know that I sound like a confused 13 year old kid wondering if it is his fault for his family unit breaking up around him. But I think that little kid still exists to an extent in my mind. A traumatic experience can do that to you. And I've been through a few recently.
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